Route 666 Page 2

  The car began to shudder again, this time even more violently than before. The salt shaker rolled off of her lap and onto the floor, scattering grains of salt. Now the steering fought her. She managed to wrestle the car into the motel parking lot before things got really scary. She cut the engine, but the car wasn’t having it. It began to rock side by side, lights flashing and the windows rolling down.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear this car was possessed and was trying to get rid of me and the necklace,” she muttered.

  She tried to open the driver side door, thankful that her seatbelt at least seemed to work as she pressed the button to release it. She became aware of Connie and a man she didn’t know, trying to yank the doors on either side open to help her escape. The Saint Christopher's medallion swung wildly, hitting her in the face as she was flung about. She raised an arm up and managed to unhook it from the mirror. The driver’s side door opened and she jumped out, kicking the salt shaker out as she went. The car ceased all activity.

  “What the hell was that?” the man asked.

  “This is Larry, the motel manager,” Connie said by way of introduction.

  “Well, Larry, I have no idea. It did some of this weird shit while we were eating at the Waffle House, too. It was turned off, no key in the ignition or anything, too.” Lexie tried to keep her voice calm. If she lost it, she knew Connie would have a case of the screaming meemies.

  Larry looked around the parking lot. “This a Youtube thing? Or are y’all doing some show where you dare each other to pull pranks?”

  “No!” Lexie couldn’t believe he’d asked her that. She was forty-three, not twenty-something.

  Larry held both of his hands up. “Sorry! It’s just so crazy, I had to make sure. Don’t see anything like that, except on pranks or in horror movies.” As if on cue, the knocking started again. Larry looked around again. “You hear that?”

  “Yeah, only before it was doing it while we were driving. We thought it was the gas tank.” Connie said. “Our granny’s car used to do that because she’d buy cheap gas.”

  “Uh huh. Well, it isn’t running now.” He slowly approached the car and tapped on the fuel door. The knocking stopped. “Huh.” He rapped the cover twice. He jumped when he heard the knock again, from behind the door. He jumped back. “Jesus! This is some proper Christine bull shit. I’m sorry, but you gotta get this out of our lot. I can’t be having no demon cars here at the motel. What if it runs over somebody?”

  Lexie’s shoulders slumped. “Can we take our stuff to our room first? I’ll call the tow truck to come fetch it back.”

  Connie nodded vigorously. “They better not charge us, either. They gave us this crazy ass car! They had to have known it had something wrong with it.”

  “All right. Tell you what, you tell me the name of the garage and I’ll ring them while you take your stuff up,” Larry offered.

  “You sure? Maybe Lexie should do it. It’s her name on the contract.”

  “I’m just gonna call them. You can deal with the guy when he gets here.”

  “His name was Shane,” Connie called over her shoulder to him, already walking back to the office where she’d left their luggage.

  “Maynard’s Garage ‘N’ Tow, she means. Shane was the guy who worked there.”

  “I know who he is. I’d heard he had a lemon he was loaning out. His work isn’t too good either, billing for parts he don’t use, if you catch my drift.”

  Lexie sighed. She understood all too well. “So he’s knew this car was hinky and he cheats customers who come in for repairs. Great.” She followed him back to the office, where she pulled up the handle on her rolling case. “You got a garage you can recommend?”

  “Your sister mentioned y’all are visitin’ your brother up at the base.”

  “Yeah, that’s right.”

  “They got a garage there, with a hoist and ramp and all that. You just need to know somebody who can do the work for ya there.”

  “Well, that’s not much help. Unless Turner knows somebody, that is. I’ll call to let him know we’re here and ask him then. If not, he’ll probably know a good mechanic. Okay, thanks,” she said, turning to go out the door. As it closed behind her, she could already hear him tapping on his phone screen for the number to call Shane.

  Chapter 3

  It Ain’t Easy Bein’ Green

  Lexie glared at Shane. He’d not only turned up within minutes, but the smirk playing about his lips suggested that he had been expecting their phone call. She had a pretty good suspicion as to why that was.

  Shane had his hand on the flap to the gas tank. He’d already opened the flap before either she or Larry managed to say a word as to what specifically was wrong with the car. Larry had been right, it seemed. Shane was running some kind of con on his garage customers using a tricked out car. If he thinks me and Connie are easy marks, he’s got another think coming.

  “Well, let’s see here,” Shane said, unscrewing the gas cap. “If there’s knocking in the gas tank, then it’ll be because something’s been put in there that shouldn’t have been. Watery gas, maybe. Or maybe you put in diesel.”

  Lexie and Connie both glared at him. They weren’t that stupid. They knew that diesel tanks had a different opening to one that took unleaded gasoline. That and the fact that they’d only just driven a few blocks after having gotten the car so there’d been no need to get any gas yet at all.

  I wanna wipe that shit eating grin right off his face, Lexie thought.

  “Well, lookie here,” Shane continued, unwittingly sounding just as much of a huckster as Mr. Haney from Green Acres. The two women had grown up watching the reruns as children. “This green gooey whatever it is must be the problem. I don’t know what you ladies put in the tank, but it’s buggered it right up. I might have to replace the whole gas tank, the fuel lines, and maybe even the engine.”

  “Now hold on, right there, mister,” Connie said in a calm voice that promised much retribution, “You know as well as we do that you gave us this car with a full tank of gas and that we’ve only driven a few blocks from your garage to here, only stopping to grab a bite at the Waffle House right yonder. There was no stop in between. The car was acting freaky the whole damned time, and Larry, the manager here, has told us a thing or two about you and this car.” She held up her phone. “Now, after hearing what he had to say, I looked y’all up on Yell and let me tell you, the reviews are not pretty. Why, some of them even mention this same car!” Larry nodded his head in affirmation.

  “I don’t know what the hell that shit is, looks like ectoplasm from the toy aisle to me,” Lexie jumped in. “What I do know is we drove this car to the Waffle House and while we were waiting for our food, the whole damned restaurant came out to watch this car do this thing as if it was trying out for a part in a poltergeist movie. It’s not right. Now, I don’t know what your game is, but I suggest you haul this piece of shit back to your garage and not even think about billing us for a damned thing, or you’ll be speaking with someone from the JAG office. I’m sure they will take a dim view of trying to defraud members of the military community. And don’t you dare even work on our car. We’ll get someone else to come get it tomorrow. Someone trustworthy.”

  Shane flushed red and took a step forward. “Now you listen here, you uppity bitch-” Shane didn’t get any further as more green slime shot out from the open gas tank, curving in a neat arc as if it was aiming directly at his face with a purpose. SPLAT! He gagged as some of it went into his mouth. Connie covered her mouth with one hand in shock, her eyes wide. Lexie shut her mouth quickly, realizing it had fallen open in surprise and not wanting to risk any of the goo landing in her own mouth. Larry took a startled step back. Both women reared back as the car began to shake and its lights to flash on and off on their own, despite no key being in the ignition. Larry pushed them behind him.

  Shane spat out the goo and stepped towards the car. “Albert, you stop that right now. I wasn’t gonna hurt t
hese ladies none.” Connie and Lexie exchanged confused glances.

  “Who the hell is Albert?” Larry voiced the same thought the sisters had.

  “He’s Albert,” Shane shouted, gesturing at the Honda. He turned his gaze back to the misbehaving car. “Goddammit, Albert, you’re gonna ruin everything! Just calm your ass down!” The engine turned over.

  “That’s it,” Larry declared. “You get your weird ass car out of this parking lot right now or I’m calling the cops.”

  “I would, if Albert would just cool his jets. I ain’t risking gettin’ run over while hoisting it while it’s being like that.”

  “Just turn it off, you got a remote or something, right?’

  “Nope. Albert does as Albert wants. Was that way before he died and is still the same old Albert.”

  Lexie narrowed her eyes. “Are you bullshittin’ me? You trying to tell us that this here car is really some dead dude named Albert and it’s his ghost or whatever that’s throwing a tantrum?”

  The car revved its engine and spat more green goo from the gas tank. This time it landed a hit onto Shane’s coveralls. Shane sighed. “Yes! Okay? My Uncle Albert, not my real uncle but a close family friend kind of uncle, left the engine running while he sat in his garage, okay? He was pretty pissed off at Aunt Brenda for runnin’ off with his best friend George. Aunt Brenda asked me to sell the car to help pay for his funeral, but with it actin’ like this, nobody would buy it. So, I used it as a loaner car sometimes.”

  Connie looked over at Lexie. “Can’t we just draw a circle with some salt around it or something? I think I’ve heard of that. Then, ya know, burn some sage.”

  “Isn’t that a circle of protection? I think in real life, it’d just drive over the salt, Connie. This isn’t TV.” Lexie snapped her fingers. “It did get really squirrelly when I hung the Saint Christopher’s medal on the mirror, though.”

  “I’ve got a vial of Holy Water from the Holy Land my mom brought me as a souvenir when she went with her church group back in ‘89,” Larry volunteered. “It doesn’t have an expiration date, does it? Maybe we could do the salt and sage thing, throw the medal onto the seat through the window and pour the holy water on it and it’ll make Albert go to the light or whatever.”

  Shane looked at the car uneasily as it began to shake violently. “I don’t think he’s too peachy keen on that idea.”

  “We can’t just leave him the car like that,” Connie insisted.

  “I’ve already tried talking to him and suggesting he’d be better off see Saint Peter. He revved up and I thought he was gonna drive us into the back wall of the garage. It was not the come to Jesus moment I’d hoped for.”

  Lexie gave him a hard stare. “He did that and yet you still loaned this car out to people and then took their money, pretended they’d gunked up the gas tank?” Shane flushed, having the grace to look away abashed.

  Larry cleared his throat. “Did anyone think to have Brenda talk to him? Seeing as it’s her he’s mad at and all.”

  Steve removed his ball cap and scratched his scalp. “No, I admit I didn’t. Worth a try, I suppose. She lives in Milton now, with George, after they sold the house. I suppose I could call ‘em and see if she’d come out.”

  “You do that,” Larry said. “Now, these ladies and I will bid you a good night. You’re on your own with this. I’ll be watching from inside, though, so don’t you go be getting any ideas of taking off and leaving Albert here.”

  Connie nodded her head. “Sounds fair to me. His uncle and his car.”

  “Sure is. We’ll see you in the morning after we arrange for someone to come collect our car,” Lexie informed Shane. “Come on,” she said to Connie. “Let’s go find a comedy on Netflix and forget all about this shit for tonight.” The two women turned to leave. “Bye!” they both called out to Larry as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “Night, ladies!” he called back, going back into the office. Shane stared after them, then turned to face the car. “Just you and me. I guess I better call Aunt Brenda and George then.” He scrolled through his contacts list and selected a number as the car let out two log horn blasts. “Damn it, Albert! You’re gonna get the po po called acting like that! Plus, I can’t hear the phone!” The car fell silent. “About damned time,” he muttered. “Oh, hey, Aunt Brenda? Naw, I wasn’t swearing at you...”

  Chapter 4

  Boogie Man

  “You reckon he really will get his spooky uncle out of that car?” Connie asked Lexie as they were waved on through the main gate of Pensacola Air Station two mornings later.

  “I have no clue but as long as he isn’t billing us or letting anybody else try to use that car, it should be okay. Now, what building number was it we were looking for again?”

  Connie peered at her phone, quickly bringing up the directory she’d had open earlier. “Hang on, it says we can get directions from here on Google Maps.” She enabled the feature and turned on the voice. Lexie followed the instructions easily and several minutes later they pulled into the parking lot.

  “This looks... nice,” Lexie said with a hint of doubt, looking at The Oaks Restaurant and Lounge. “I bet the view is fantastic, for sure, though. Looks like we might get a good look at the bay while we eat if we can wangle a window seat.”

  “That would be lovely,” Connie agreed. “Um, when did the guy say the new gauge would be in?”

  “The new mechanic? He didn’t. He said he’d have to check around but he hoped he could have us one in three days at the most. I’m just glad that’s all it was. I much rather have a faulty gas gauge and run out of gas than have it turn out to be a duff transmission. Anyways, he said we should have three quarters of a tank now.”

  “We best make sure to top it up.”

  “I plan to. Before we leave the base, I’ll put in at least ten dollars’ worth.”

  The two women entered the restaurant. They stood and stared. “Wow!” Connie said, seeing the patio. “I don’t remember having anything like this back when our husbands were on active duty. I mean, it’s nothing fancy, but it’s certainly not fast food-y and nor is it cheap looking.”

  Lexie sniffed the air. “Food smells good. Let’s go order.” Two breakfast skillets and coffee in hand, they sat out on the patio. At just after nine-thirty in the morning, the bay was very quiet, bar one parasailor making an early start.

  “The food is pretty damned good,” Connie said, taking another bite.

  “Cheap too. I like tasty and I like cheap. Plus, it goes to MWR.” Connie nodded her head in agreement. The Morale, Welfare, and Recreation fund was dear to both their hearts. Lexie frowned at her phone.

  “What is it?” Connie asked.

  “I texted Turner yesterday and didn’t get an answer. I did it again this morning and he’s sent me the strangest damned reply.” Lexie pushed her phone across the table to Connie so she could read the message.

  Connie’s eyebrows rose when she read what Turner had sent. “You sure you texted the right number?”

  “Yeah. If you scroll up, you can see where we’d spoken earlier and I’d told him we were headed this way.”

  “Do you think he lost his phone? Maybe that’s why he didn’t answer last night . Possibly this morning someone found it and thinks they are being funny, or maybe he’s texted you by mistake and meant to send it to a girl he’s been seeing. I just can’t see our brother sending you a booty call text like that.” Connie passed the phone back to Lexie.

  “True. I’ll let him know he’s in the wrong chat box.” Lexie typed quickly and hit send. Seconds later, her phone pinged again. Lexie nearly choked when she saw the new message.

  “What is it?” Connie asked, putting down her fork and looking ruefully down at her now empty plate.

  “He said he has the right chat box and attached a,” Lexie lowered her voice to whisper in a scandalized tone, “ picture- what they call a dick pic!”

  “What!” Connie screeched. “Eww! Is he drunk? Naw, someone definitely has to have
his phone.” Connie shuddered.

  “Oh, it’s him all right. It’s a full frontal.” Lexie pushed her plate away. “I can’t finish that now. Ew, so squicky. I really could have done without seeing our brother like that.”

  “I do not want to see that, just keep your phone over there.”

  “We’ll have to go see him, make sure he’s all right. This is not normal.”

  “Okay, yeah. Is he off today?”

  “According to the schedule he sent me a few days ago when I told him we were coming, yeah.”

  “You sure you can’t eat that?” Connie eyed Lexie’s plate.

  “Have at it. Look, after this let’s go do some shopping at the NEX. Then hit the commissary for some stuff to barbecue. I’ll see if he’ll meet us at Blue Angel Park,” Lexie said, watching Connie take her plate and start making short work of her leftovers.

  “And if he won’t?” Connie asked.

  “Then we have a good time barbecuing burgers for lunch and rent a kayak or maybe go paddleboarding. We can go see him tonight. Maybe he’ll have cooled his jets and sorted himself out by then.” Lexie didn’t want to worry Connie with her niggling suspicion that Turner was possibly still drunk after a night long binge.

  “We can pick up swimsuits at the Exchange. Charcoal too.”